You Belong Here.
These words filled my heart and mind last Saturday evening and they are still making my heart pause and take note.
Last Saturday evening I went to a high class restaurant for dinner to celebrate my Mama in laws birthday. The kind of restaurant where you only hear the faint sounds of conversations and silverware wrestling in the background. Where the waitstaff are in suit and ties, the place setting is that of off a movie scene and the price of a steak is not questioned because you know it is going to be good.
High class restaurant and I wore ripped jeans. Ripped?
I felt beautiful ten minutes ago when we left the hotel room? What had changed?
An uneasiness settled over me with every passing guest dressed in a gown and slacks. My head started to fall, my eyes slowly found there way to the floor. Every smile shown my way I questioned.
“Right this way” the hostess lead and my heart grew more anxious.
Seated at our table with the most elegant place stettings my eyes still found it hard to make eye contact with the staff. Embarrassed by my ripped jeans and jean jacket a napkin was gently placed in my lap and I felt undeserving.
But then I herd His voice in my heart as clear as my father speaking encouragement into my deepest fears…
“You Belong Here.”
I looked up. As if I was looking for him to be standing there before me. And I smiled as I herd him say again but a bit gentler this time. “You Belong here.”
I felt my shoulders relax and my smile return. My head rose and my eyes no longer grazed the floor.
I belonged. No one had told me otherwise. I had decided it for myself. In my own thoughts. Wrapped up in my own fears and feelings of unworthiness I decided I did not belong.
“You Belong Here.”
That’s all it took. One word of truth and I was free. Free from shame. Free from worry. Free from fear.
May seem small but lies usually begin small. They are just as dangerous small as they are fully formed.
So the next time you find yourself shrinking back, looking down, convincing yourself your unworthy or even unwanted, stop and remind yourself, “You Belong Here”.
You absolutely Belong Here.
Just gushing over these little piles of cloths. Who knew I’d be a mommy to three little men? Not I. But God knew. I’m sure he laughed when my high school self declared “no way, I do not want children.”…then I imagine He smiled when my heart changed to, “Well, maybe if* I meet the right guy.” And then I imagine he nodded his head in approval He knit my heart to Bryan’s.
And then he waited.
God is never in a hurry and He is crazy patient. If you want to know His heart and His plan for you He’s a gentleman. He won’t force you. But if you ask Him. If you seek Him He is so incredibly faithful to talk to you and show you what He’s got for you. And when we listen. When we go where He wants us to go, do what He wants is to do, be who He wants us to be. Well, you just might find yourself to be a mommy of three. That’s what happened to me. His plan is so so good. More extravagant than I could have ever imagined. And the best is still to come.
I went on a morning date with this handsome fella.
There is a long list about being a mommy I could make laced with what I call “mom guilt”. It’s a topic not talked about enough but it’s there. And I imagine no matter your little ones age it’s there trying to steal time and joy and strength. Guilt about all the things. Did I spend enough time with you? Did I give you enough attention? Am I teaching you enough? Did I spend our day correcting you too much? I shouldn’t have yelled. I should be more peaceful. More patient. More of everything and everyone else I compare myself too. But all of it is rooted in fear. Fear and worry. Am I enough for you? That’s the bottom line. But you know what? Simply you being born as my son is evidence that I’m more than enough for you. Not because I say so and certainly not because most days I even feel it. But because God entrusted you too me and in that I know He was confidently declaring that I AM says I am more than enough. All of me. The good. The bad and yes even the ugly. I’m learning right along side you and I’m starting to be ok with not being perfect for you. I’m starting to embrace that my weakness will add value to your life just as much as my strengths. You are one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given and instead of standing in a place of “I might mess this up” I’m going to on purpose stepping into “I’m more than enough,”. Not in my own strength but by His grace that says I’m more than enough.
And you too Mama, if your reading this and your heart relates, know that you are more than enough. All of you. .
Today we 🍩🍩🍩 and I loved every moment with just you baby boy.